


The Runway Mission

by xlenaleex (Turk_and_JD)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. References, BAMF Melinda May, F/M, Glitter, Humorous, Mission Gone Wrong, Philinda - Freeform, Sexual Tension, or is it mission gone right, you can pry philinda from my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turk_and_JD/pseuds/xlenaleex
Summary: Undercover missions are all about the costumes after all.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	The Runway Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Ported over from Fanfiction.net 
> 
> This was in response to the _Philinda Undercover Challenge_ by _FuckYeahPhilinda_ on tumblr. I never posted it on tumblr for silly reasons, but here it is for your enjoyment!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot! And Nanollo of course.

**Ladies and gentlemen, please make your way to your seat. The show will begin in five minutes.**

“ _May?_ ” Coulson inquired around a tight smile. They were running out of time. He’d just received intel two minutes before about a contracted hit. It seemed they weren’t the first people to get to Nanollo Johnson. Coulson had yet to pinpoint the sniper. He’d covered every area except the cat walks. His gut tightened when he raised his gaze to the metal walkways above. Naturally. 

“ _ **May?**_ ” He hissed making his way towards a door that would lead backstage. 

He told himself it was because it was the quickest way to access the air walks. Certainly it wasn’t because he was worried about his best agent. He knows she can take care of herself.

He quickened his pace.

“ _Damnit May._ ” He cursed into his piece. He reached the door and slipped inside, surprised but thankful that it was busier here than outside. No one would notice him sneaking around.

“ _There’s a small hang-up._ ” Came May’s low voice. He could tell she was angry. His shoulders didn’t relax. There was no reason to. Of course he knew that she would be alright.

“ _On my end too. There’s a hit on Johnson._ ” He informed her.

“What are you doing in that?!” yelled a woman to his left, staring at him as if he had ruined her house of cards. “Suites aren’t until the second run through! Go get changed into your casual wear! Now!”

Coulson smiled apologetically at the distressed woman screaming at him and picked up his pace. Which was hard to do when he had to constantly weave through other people. No. Other _men_.

“ _Of course there is._ ” May snickered, breaking his observation. “ _I can barely get a moment of his time. Seems like Sky overlooked the type of show they’re hosting. All the models are men-._ ”

She cut off abruptly, but he could see her now, a few dozen feet away talking to a very animated fellow who he recognized immediately as their target. He watched as the man turned away from her and strode off towards the stage, yelling at everyone who crossed his path.

“ _Johnson’s not listening to reason._ ” May continued. “ _He’s not going to give up his show which means he won’t come easy. Not until it’s over or-._ ”

“No.” Coulson said, coming up behind her. He watched for the slightest hint of surprise but was disappointed when she turned smoothly towards him as if she had always known he was there. She looked stunning in her black halter dress. The puffy flared ruffles on the bottom made her look doll-like. But his focus wasn’t on the ruffles at the moment. It was on the flowered design that covered her right breast and led in perfect curves to the V in the middle of her chest.

Maybe disappointed was the wrong word.

“No?” May repeated and his eyes snapped to hers fast enough to catch the eyebrow she gave him. A body part that shouldn’t intrigue him as much as it did.

“We need to be discreet.” He confirmed, and had to look away at the near nonexistent smirk on her lips.

“What will it take to get his cooperation?” he asked as she took him by the elbow and guided them away from traffic.

“Nothing. The show must go on.”

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. The show will begin in 60 seconds.

“Find him.” Coulson ordered, placing his hand on her back and turning her towards the scaffolding he’d spotted on his way in. She was more agile than he was and could probably navigate the air walks in her sleep. “I’ll talk to our guy and try to make him see reason.”

He allowed himself to watch her for five seconds. Just long enough for her to make it to the darkest area and begin shedding her dress. He’d have to remember to retrieve it later. When his time was done he turned and made his way closer to the action.

“ _Let’s see if we can’t make him see reason._ ” Coulson said, striding to where he could see Mr. Johnson, near the entrance of the runway, looking very animated.

“ _You were always the smooth talker._ ” May teased.

“Mr. Johnson.” Coulson called to get the man’s attention.

“What are you _wearing?!_ ” Johnson cried upon turning around. Coulson began to wonder why his suit was so inappropriate for this fashion show, but with effort he ignored the statement as he did before.

“Mr. Johnson. I’m with S.H.I.E.L.D. Your life is in danger.”

“Ugh! I told your girl I didn’t have time for that.”

He ignored the simultaneous indignation and possession that rose up from that one statement. There were many ways to describe May. _Girl_ was not one of them. _His_ …well…

“I can’t let you die.” He said, reaching out to grab the guys arm in a firm grip, halting his frantic movements. The man’s eyes narrowed nervously.

“Look.” He continued more gently. “We’re just trying to ensure your safety. If you go out on that stage before my man can find the shooter…” The rest went unsaid.

“Shooter?” Johnson’s eyes grew wide.

** Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Nanollo Johnson’s body and mind fashion show. Joining science and art, Johnson has created a line of men’s clothing the way they were meant to be worn. With abstract precision. Without further ado, please enjoy the show. **

“Let me go!” Johnson hissed. “You suggest I let my life’s work go down the drain? I’d rather die?!”

But his words didn’t quite match his body language. He was afraid, and angry sure, but the fear was there. That was good. Coulson could work with fear.

“You do know what happens to a body that’s hit by a .50 bmg caliber bullet?” He tried not to hiss. “You’ll certainly be remembered…. but not for your clothes.”

Johnson’s face grew red with scowling uncertainty. Coulson tried not to think about what he’d have to do if the man insisted on continuing. He’d have to get creative.

“Fine. I’ll stay backstage.” The man relented, giving Coulson a once over. “It’s not ideal but I’m not an idiot. I know how valuable I am. I’ll even go to your little base with you and show you _real_ sci-art…but you have to go onstage for me.”

“Excuse me?”

* * *

** And now for our suitors **

May grabbed onto the bar above of her, stopping just short of plunging into the waiting crowd below. She pulled herself up, cursing the hitman who decided the highest catwalk was the perfect place to snipe. Technically she’d located him, but was working on actually getting there. She’d had to climb over the damn lighting booth to get to the stairs of the cat walk without alerting the crew inside. That meant hazardous free climbing; not one of her favorite past times, but one she was proficient in. Halfway across she’d realized she couldn’t take the stairs without alerting the sniper to her presence. She’d have to come at him from another angle. Another angle across hazardous scaffolding with a sea of people 30 ft. below. She’d never hated the bastard more.

“ _May. Tell me you’ve found the shooter._ ” Coulson hissed in her ear.

“ _Technically._ ” she whispered, calculating how many moves it would take to reach the hitman from her current position.

“ _Catch him May. Now._ ”

“ _Working on it!_ ” she hissed back before readying herself. She’d only have one chance to get this right. She took a breath and jumped for the bar several feet in front of her. She grabbed it with one hand and kept swinging, grabbing the next bar with her other hand. Again. And again. Her arms began to tire. On the second to last bar she caught it with her feet instead and continued to swing, head tilted back and arms dangling in preparation.

Her aim was perfect. The momentum carried her just far enough to reach out her hands and snap the man’s neck from behind. She used his limp body as leverage to flip down onto the catwalk, making sure to grab his rifle before it tumbled into the crowd. She lifted a hand to her ear to inform Coulson but froze as she looked down to see him stumble down the runway.

He was still wearing his suit but it was different somehow. Better. His tie was missing and the buttons on his shirt were opened just how she knew he preferred. She’d always liked that look on him, it was a good look. Only this time it seemed… _more_. His eyes seemed to pierce through the crowd, occasionally flickering up towards her perch. It wasn’t until he’d pivoted and was making his way back that she realized what it was. He was wearing make-up.

The idea was so absurd she found herself giggling before she could stop herself. Melinda May didn’t giggle. Then again, Coulson didn’t wear eyeliner and mascara but she was supremely enjoying their enhancing effect.

He wasn’t off the runway more than a few seconds before he was back in her ear.

“ _May. Update._ ” He demanded.

“ _What the hell are you doing onstage?_ ” she asked instead.

“ _Smooth talking. Did you get the sniper?_ ”

She thought about telling him. She really did. But who knew if there was another sniper around. She took a 360 already knowing there were no other threats. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry. Phil would agree with her.

“ _I’ve eliminated the target but…_ ”

“ _But? What the hell is but?_ ”

“ _There’s something…_ ”

“ _What is it M-I’m not wearing th-._ ”

* * *

**And now for our grunge look**

May had to do a double take when he reemerged on stage. For the grunge look they’d placed him in dark distressed jeans. Every time he moved she caught a flash of pale skin. His shirt was too big and hung low on him, causing the deep V to come to a rest in the middle of his chest. A flannel shirt covered one shoulder but had slipped down the other and caught at the elbow. His hands were tucked far into his pockets making him slouch a little. They’d allowed him to keep his glasses but a beanie was pulled low over his head and the make-up had gotten darker.

It should have looked strange. There was nothing wrong with the style. It just wasn’t Phil. Period. Even now she felt her brain should be protesting what she was seeing. But instead she found herself checking her heart rate, because at that moment he was the cutest damn thing she’d ever seen. She didn’t understand why but it just _worked_. She tracked his every step and when he finally disappeared behind stage she made her choice.

“ _May. Talk to me._ ”

“ _Looks like the makings of an explosive Phil._ ” And technically that was true. Because if this man got any cuter she would explode and then she’d have to punch in someone’s face.

“ _Do you need back-up?_ ”

“ _No. I think I’ve got it. Just need a little time._ ”

“ _Damnit May._ ” He hissed in her ear again and she resisted a grin. She expected to hear something along the lines of “you’ve got two minutes” or instructions to inform him the second the danger was over. Instead she got a whispered “ _be careful_ ” that brought an entirely different smile to her face.

After that she maintained radio silence, ignoring his intervalled check-ins. He was absent from the next two fashion wears, but to her delight he reappeared for the beachwear. They’d removed the beanie in favor of a bucket hat that she found endearing. The near sheer button-up was completely undone offering her a heart beating view. He was pant less and sporting a very tight pair of dark swim trunks that ended mid-thigh. She could see the self-consciousness written along the taught lines of his body, stretching down his thin pale legs and solidifying the natural firmness of his bare abdomen. The lights catching on the soft hair of his chest was mesmerizing, though she’d never admit it. And she definitely did not commit laser focus to the study of his rear, snugged tight in the trunks as he retreated down the runway and back behind stage.

The subsequent fashion wears went by without her notice. Phil wasn’t in them; which had left her ample time to contemplate which item she would be getting him as a present. After all, his birthday was coming up soon. What kind of friend would she be if she didn’t surprise him with something… fitting?

Her gift musings were interrupted when the lights shut off, causing a shiver to race across her skin. The crowd grew quiet, it’s tittering spread across the darkness like a living thing, swelling suddenly only to shrink back to a murmur. The soft start of drums caused an audible collective gasp before the announcer drowned out everything else.

**Ladies and gentlemen. The moment you’ve been waiting for. The spirit of Nanollo.**

The lights roared back to life and if she wasn’t blinded by their sudden flare she was blinded by the shining thing on the runway below. Her eyes widened and she could feel her mouth slip open in awe. He was resplendent. Radiant.

They’d covered him in glitter and gold, as if he was Midas himself. The golden headpiece set atop his head somehow managed to retain its shine while also capturing every color of the rainbow as he stormed down the runway. The feather like ornament fanned out stretching towards the sky, the sides dropping to connect with a braid that fell across his chest.

Thick eyeliner rimmed his eyes and spread out in a band, causing his blue eyes to become two piercing orbs that threatened to pull her off the catwalk. Bangled jewelry wrapped around his ankles and arms, clinging together from his wrists and ears, all in compliment to the huge adornment around his neck that settled quite nicely on his chest, just shy of covering his golden nipples. He was clothed only by a thin piece of shimmering cloth that hung between his legs, attached with a dazzling belt that threw out the same mystifying colors as his headpiece.

As he walked, the golden robe they’d adorned him in alternatively flared and clung around him; shimmering in its semi-sheerness, offering an anticipatory view where it flared and a tantalizing view where it clung to his body. He was regal as he stopped at the end of the walkway, bare feet leaving golden footprints in his wake. He didn’t strike a pose, simply glared out at the awestruck crowd. She could see the aggression in his eyes and it somehow completed the look; making him look like an angry Mayan god. He blinked slowly, the golden eyelashes they’d put on him fanning down across his cheek. When he opened his eyes again he was looking right at her. Her heart stopped as she held his gaze. He couldn’t see her; the lights were too bright. She knew that. Still, she could feel the drool threatening to spill from her mouth but was powerless to do anything but stare at this gorgeous creature beneath her.

He blinked again and the spell was broken as he turned sharply and made his way back down the runway. Her heart restarted with the crowd as the room took a collective breath and she snapped her jaw closed before swallowing hard. A groan swept across the room and in her peripheral she saw several hands reach towards him, as if they could stop him from leaving. She scowled at their attempts. The second his body disappeared behind the curtain there was a roar of approval and the crowd jumped to their feet to express their appreciation. In the explosion of noise, she almost missed his com.

“ _Damnit May! Answer me!_ ” Coulson hissed into his com as he ripped the headpiece off of his shoulders. The ornament was surprisingly light given its size.

“ _The job is done._ ”

His shoulders sagged in relief. He knew in a bomb diffusing situation she needed time and quiet, but the continued radio silence had grated on his already ruffled nerves. He’d never modeled in his life and strutting on stage damn near nude had made him feel more self-conscious than he had since his academy days when he’d first met May. The last outfit especially (if you could call it that) had made him turn an alarming shade of red before they’d smothered the evidence in warm glittering gold paint. He’d attempted to contact May while they’d wrapped him in jewelry but her continued silence wore on him until they’d pushed him onto the stage and he’d barreled down the runway, anger and concern swirling in his gut. He had to admit all those eyes riveted on him had given him a sense of power that he’d never felt before. However, the feeling had abated as soon as he was backstage and May still hadn’t contacted him.

“ _On my way back now._ ” She informed him. He glanced around while undoing the glittering belt at his waist. As much as he wanted to visually assess her wellbeing, all he wanted to do now was get Johnson and get out.

“ _No. I’ve got Johnson. Head to the extraction point._ ”

“ _Got it._ ” She clipped.

He shrugged out of the rest of jewelry adorning him and quickly slipped on his pants. With one arm in his shirt he grabbed a towel and wiped his face before discarding it and grabbing Johnson by the arm, steering him towards the exit. The longer they stayed here the more danger he was in.

“You.. were... _magnificent!_ ” the man gushed looking over at Coulson with a new light in his eyes. Coulson ignored the man as he dragged him towards the back door, making sure to swipe May’s discarded dress on the way out.

“I mean who’d of thought you’d be able to capture the essence so brilliantly! Of course not as brilliantly as I could have. Oh! To be an unseen artist! You have no idea how muc-.”

Coulson tuned the man out as they reached the van and started home.

* * *

Back at the base he slipped into his office for a moment of peace, and then hopefully a shower, but a knock came on his door before he could get more than two buttons of his shirt undone. His heart rate increased. He knew that knock.

“Come in May.”

The door opened and she slipped in, shutting it firmly behind her. His eyes raked over her, checking for injuries. She’d redressed in standard regs and he didn’t see any alarming injuries. Reminded of her frustrating radio silence he turned away from her and approached his desk.

“What the hell happened out there?” he demanded.

“I told you what happened. I was detained.”

“But why would they set a bomb when they already had a sniper. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I didn’t say I understood their plans Phil. Only that I shot it to hell.” She said moving to her perch on the edge of his desk. He had to say, he really enjoyed when she did that; far enough away that it wasn’t inappropriate if someone came in, but close enough that he often found his hand brushing against her leg. A leg that never moved when he touched it. It was distracting…but in a very good way. An itch on his stomach brought his attention back to the fact that he was still covered in gold. He continued unbuttoning his shirt as he refocused on the report on his desk.

“Well, we’ll have the team do another sweep. Make sure there’s not a third party here we’re missing. You didn’t see anything else did you?”

At her silence he glanced up to find her staring at his chest as if startled. He paused in the middle of shrugging off his shirt and could feel the heat return to his face; but this time there wasn’t gold paint to hide behind.

“No.” she finally murmured in clear afterthought. Eyes slowly narrowing into a glare.

Suddenly he was reminded of the almost hypnotic power he’d had over the crowd and glanced back up to find her eyes still glued to his chest. Watching her closely he slowly shrugged out of the rest of the material and tossed it on the floor beside him. If he hadn’t been paying attention he may have missed her small intake of breath. But he hadn’t missed it, and the small sound ignited a flame in him. He stood slowly, crowding her space and watching as her eyes tracked his movements and continued to slide up his body to catch his own heated stare.

He knew then that he was going to kiss her. They’d been playing this game a long time, even before Audrey, before Andrew. But she was stronger than he was. Always had been. He knew the longing sometimes seeped out in the way he stared at her, the way he would move heaven and Earth to bring her back. May held the discipline he didn’t. So on the rare occurrences when her feelings tumbled out of her as it was now, he was unable to stop himself from reacting.

One moment he was watching his gold flecked fingers slip beneath her hair to touch her neck, the next her soft lips were moving against his. He had a moment of confusion where he wasn’t sure if he’d kissed her, or she had kissed him; but the hot, hard and insistent press of her tongue against his mouth interrupted his thought and pulled a moan out of him from somewhere deep inside which he had no chance of catching.

His mouth opened obediently to her heated demand, his hand fisting in the hair at the nape of her neck to pull her closer. As he felt her fingers clutch at his hip in response he shuddered and briefly wondered who really had the power before all thoughts not regarding _her_ dissipated.

* * *

The next morning May strode into the commons area amongst the noise of the gang, already digging into their breakfast. She could feel the hot stair of Coulson on her back but ignored it. She grabbed a yogurt and joined the group at the table in her usual spot. Under the table she spread her legs until her knee gently hit the familiar outline of his before stirring in a few blueberries from the bowl on the table.

“Is that glitter?” Sky suddenly asked across from her.

She saw Coulson tense beside her, felt it from what little she could feel of his leg. Looking up she expected them to be staring at Phil, but all eyes were turned towards her. She raised a hand to where their gazes fell. When she pulled it back from her neck there was indeed a smear of golden glitter there.

“Yes.” She clipped before digging into her breakfast without further explanation.

Sky shrugged and everyone returned to their conversation. And if there was a slight smile on Coulson’s face, well, that wasn’t unusual. And if the back of her knuckles brushed against his a few times, well, that wasn’t unusual either.


End file.
